I don't mean my first Tinder date. I'm talking my first date. EVER. Not counting kissing boys behind school walls kind of 'dates'. This is my first 'let's go to movies and I want you to romantically kiss me goodbye' kind of a date. Courtesy of my diary that I rediscovered after million years. 

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I'm 14. First year of high school. There is this boy. He is 2 years older. He has long, blond hair. Not the 'hard rock' kind of long hair. More like those Hanson boys from the MMMbop song kind of long hair. 

It's Valentines Day. I make 14 cards (Yes. 14. I always was a 'go big or go home' kind of a girl.), I put them one into another. Like the Russian babushka doll. I write one word on each card. When you read them all together, I pretty much ask him to go out with me. Yeah, I know. 
I ask my dad to bring me to school early. I sit on the stairs of the main entrance. I know he has to use this entrance to get to his first class. It's not the first time I sit there just to see him. He arrives. I gather all the courage I have and approach him. I give him the cards. I say Happy Valentines Day. 

It takes him forever to open all the cards. I didn't really think this one through. He reads the cards. He looks at me and smiles. I smile back. He says "are these from Wanda?". 

Wanda is my classmate. Wanda is skinny and has beautiful blond locks. I'm chubby and if my hair looks good, it's by accident. I must look really confused. I mumble sth that it's not, that it's from me. I ask him again if he wants to go out. He hesitates but says yes. I'm too happy to think about his hesitation. Or about Wanda. 

He cancels twice. When we finally go on the date, it's April. I love American rom coms but I pick an intellectual movie. I might not be Wanda but I'm smart. I should be able to impress him with my wits. We're at the cinema. He doesn't stretch his arm and put it around me like I hoped. Maybe it's just not that kind of a movie. We leave the cinema, I ask how he liked the movie. He has nothing to say about the movie. 

We are having ice creams. Conversation is not flowing. To say it mildly. To say it less mildly, it's awkward AF. I remember I asked my mom to check his birthday. There is no internet to find out but she works at the town hall and has access to it. I tell him I can feel people's zodiac signs. He looks up. I say I feel he's a Leo. He nods but looks more scared than impressed.  I change the subject. 

We're walking back home. It's chilly and I didn't bring a jacket. I make a 'brrrrr I'm so cold' sound. He looks at me and asks if I'm cold. I smile and nod. I can already see the 'every romantic comedy scenario where he takes off his jacket and puts it over my shoulders'. He says I should have brought a jacket . There is no kiss goodbye. He never talks to me again. I guess he did like Wanda after all.